Managing Expectations

Every once in a while I hear about someone who isn’t coming to MVCC anymore because of some disappointment they are feeling. If you know someone like this, please be sure to reassure them that they are valued by God and that it is important for them to continue their involvement at our church or another Bible teaching church that shares the Gospel.

I have found the people at the church whom God is using and who sense spiritual growth and faith development happening through our church can really struggle to understand why their excitement for the church isn’t shared by everyone. I’ll share some of my insights with you on this topic and I pray that you will continue to find MVCC as a place where you are being challenged and supported to grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I have found that oftentimes, people’s disappointment is that they don’t feel close to the pastor. They may not even be able to express this as the reason for their discontent. Others are frustrated because they feel like they aren’t close to certain people in the church whom they wish could be their friend. As the Pastor of a growing church, the reality is that more and more of my time ends up focused on leading the leaders of the church. Additionally, in a growing church, not everyone can be friends with everyone else anymore. Recently, even Tammy and I have found it difficult to keep up with remembering everyone’s name at the church.

One option that some growing churches choose who have over 200 people coming is to stop being an inviting church. They begin to be exclusive – I pray this is never Mountain Vista! This does solve the problem of everyone being able to know the Pastor and everyone else. However, it creates some worse problems. My strategy is to pour myself into ministry leaders as well as the lives of men who ask for mentorship and accountability. My hope is that these leaders will in turn pour themselves into the lives of our church’s newcomers and those who attend but are hesitant to fully enter into the community life at this time. This is Jesus’ discipleship multiplication concept!

So, I need you to encourage people who are new or who are on the fringe to enter in to different aspects of our community so that they can become known and can know us. I have found that as a whole our congregation is very open and welcoming to people who are also open and willing to enter in to the opportunities we offer. We also offer a lot of inclusive programs and events. Please help them understand that, the ones who have been giving financially; participating in service projects and ministry volunteerism; the ones who have attended a home group or a men’s or women’s group; the ones who attend the communion services and baptisms and all-church events – these people feel very connected to each other and God is working in their lives.

On the other hand, the people who come primarily on Sunday mornings, but don’t involve themselves in the church family activities will observe but never feel the bond and special relationships that are forming between our members. That level of connection with others and the pastor becomes reality when we can convince people to let go of their notion of individual worship of God and to fully embrace biblical fellowship. If someone you know is struggling with getting connected, please kindly and gently remind them that our church can only create opportunities and then extend invitations and then the ball is in their court. We will not get in their face and we will not assume that they want us to badger them.

If someone on the fringe feels discontent with our church in spite of all we are willing to provide them, then we can only politely wish them God’s best and pray that at their next church they will choose to enter into the life of the church as a committed participant and as a contributor. Although we feel sympathy for them please understand that people who are needy and then don’t appreciate what we’re offering to them, will not ultimately be satisfied if we try to offer them even more. Discontent people actually need God to meet their needs but they haven’t realized it yet. We can pray that since God didn’t meet their needs through MVCC, that he will at their next church.

Do what you can, pray, and then leave it in God’s hands – these are his children and he loves them more than we can.